Since yesterday, at my absolutely amazing women’s group at church, I have come to terms with being imperfect. Specifically with my appearance. I have struggled most of my adult life with my weight. It’s tough. Especially when our culture is constantly shoving ideals down our throats. (ie. You should be this weight” “You should look like this” “These moms look this fabulous after having 18 kids”) I’m done with it, or trying to be. I can’t live my life like that. The constant comparison of what I “should” look like actually feeds my depression. I find myself thinking that I am not good enough all of the time, or that I don’t look good enough…or even worse, I constantly think “someday I will be thinner again”. It’s not healthy to live like that, and it keeps me from loving myself for who I am right now. And that doesn’t only affect me, it affects my husband and my children as well.
So yesterday I decided that I am going to be content with my body the way it is now. I’m not saying that I won’t lose some weight as the months and years pass by, but I’m not going to stress about it. I made these thoughts a reality when I said then OUT LOUD to Jeff this morning. He was happy to hear it. And I was so glad he gave such a good response. Phew!
I’m going to stop judging myself in every picture, and stop sucking my stomach in for them. I’m planning on going through my clothes and donate the ones that don’t fit anymore…because seriously if I ever do fit in to them again they will not be in style anymore.
I also plan on continuing to work out. I will try to eat healthy portions of food because it is good for me…and I will try to not eat too many sweets. But the reality is, I eat mac n cheese for lunch with my kids, and quesadillas for supper with the kids…when Jeff’s not home. It’s not the best, but I’ve got toddlers…it’s reality.
So there. I said it. I don’t need to be super thin to be happy. I will be happy the way I am right now.
Am I the only one who is tired of feeling this way? I know the answer. What changes can you make today that will better your life right now?